Intimate Partner Violence
Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash
By Kimberly Klein
“If she’s being abused by her partner, why doesn’t she just leave?”
Reader, you might be immediately wondering if you clicked on the wrong post. This is a financial planning blog, right? Why the sudden pivot to discussing abusive relationships?
Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Kimberly, sister to Keith’s wife Melissa. I spent almost a decade working in the nonprofit sector, primarily in domestic violence advocacy, before returning to school to pursue a PhD in Prevention Science four years ago. My research focuses on economic abuse within intimate partner violence (IPV), especially as facilitated by legal and social systems.
Keith and I discussed several months ago the idea of my writing a post about IPV economic abuse for the SFP blog, and as October is National Domestic Violence Action Month, we agreed the time had come.
In this post, I’ll outline some basics about IPV and economic abuse and then discuss a few connections to financial planning and long-term economic stability in the lives of IPV survivors.
To begin, what is intimate partner violence?
Simply put, IPV is domestic violence that occurs within any version of a romantic relationship. This might include current or past dating partners, spouses, and parents of shared children. IPV can take many different forms—some of the most common forms are physical violence, emotional/psychological abuse, economic abuse, and technological abuse.
Whether you realize it, you undoubtedly know survivors of IPV. How can I make that claim? Well, because the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) estimates that in the United States, 41% of women and 26% of men will experience IPV at some point during their lifetime. That’s more than 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men!
Historically, women have experienced IPV at much higher rates, so at the inception of the domestic violence movement, advocacy efforts focused almost exclusively on women victims. However, advocates today stress that individuals can experience IPV regardless of their age, gender, sexual orientation, race or ethnicity, socio-economic status, or where they live (geographic location).
IPV also takes an enormous toll on the US economy. In 2018, the IPV lifetime population economic burden was estimated at $3.6 trillion—and those estimates were based on the value of the 2014 dollar, so accounting for inflation, the number is certainly higher today.
Okay, so we’ve established a basic understanding of IPV. But…
… what is economic abuse?
As defined in the 2022 reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, economic abuse is “behavior that is coercive, deceptive, or unreasonably controls or restrains a person's ability to acquire, use, or maintain economic resources to which they are entitled, including using coercion, fraud, or manipulation.”
That’s a rather dense definition, so let’s break it down a bit more.
Economic abuse occurs when someone uses coercion, deception, or control to impact their partner’s finances and economic stability. Researchers estimate that up to 99% of IPV survivors experience economic abuse in their relationships.
There are three main categories used to describe economic abuse, though there’s certainly overlap. I’ve included some common examples of abuse within each here:
Economic Control
Refusing to allow a partner to work
Making them ask for money or putting them on an allowance
Taking paychecks or other forms of income
Denying money for food, medication, and other necessities
Removal (or refusal) of their name on car titles, house deeds, etc.
Withholding important financial information or documents
Demanding receipts or change after purchases are made
Employment/School Sabotage
Preventing a partner from securing or maintaining a job
Interfering with employment or education
Destroying laptops/tablets or professional clothing
Denying transportation or childcare
Stalking or harassment at work or school
Economic Exploitation
Spending rent/bill money on other things
Intentionally paying bills late or not at all
Inhibiting the ability to save
Destroying personal possessions or household items
Causing damage to vehicles or housing
Turning off electricity, phone, or other utility services
Economic hardship is a concern long-term, as economic abuse can result in housing instability due to past evictions or foreclosure, ongoing credit issues due to coerced debt or identity theft, and struggles to move forward without important documents.
The impact of economic abuse limits survivors’ ability to be independent, attain financial security, and establish and maintain a good quality of life for themselves and their children. And as one might expect, populations who have been historically disadvantaged economically experience higher rates and more severe consequences of economic abuse.
Let’s return to my opening line: “If she’s being abused by her partner, why doesn’t she just leave?”
I’ve heard innumerable variations of that question since I began working in domestic violence advocacy. If I’m honest, I may have even asked a version of it myself when I was younger. It can be difficult to understand the complicated web of power, coercion, and control abusive partners can weave into an IPV relationship, and I don’t have space to discuss all of those here.
What I do want to highlight, however, is that research clearly shows that economic abuse is a primary reason why IPV survivors do not leave, or choose to return to, an abusive relationship.
And once we begin to think about financial and economic stability in our own lives, this makes perfect sense, right? Compounding factors such as a lack of work history, poor credit, no savings, accumulated debt, and limited social safety nets can make the idea of leaving your financially secure partner an intimidating prospect, regardless of the abuse you might be experiencing at home.
Imagine trying to leave your home with no money. You have no way to find housing due to poor rental history, a low credit score, and an inability to fund a safety deposit. Shelters are full. Your partner limited your contact with your family and friends, so you don’t have anyone to turn to for help. You don’t have access to your ID, birth certificate, or other important documents. Trying to set out on your own and survive becomes an intimidating (impossible?) prospect, doesn’t it?
And for those who do find a way to leave, many later find they can’t establish/maintain safe housing, secure stable employment, or provide basic necessities for themselves and/or their children. It’s no wonder some choose to return to their abusive partner simply to survive.
Here’s where the connection to financial planning comes in
Safety planning is a key IPV advocacy tool, involving many different actions and strategies used by IPR survivors to keep themselves (and children, pets, extended family, etc.) safe, helping them to navigate many different aspects of an abusive relationship. Similarly to financial planning, safety planning is most effective when it’s specific and individualized for survivors. As such, financial safety planning can be a key part of an overall safety plan as a survivor prepares to leave an abusive relationship, including the following strategies:
Hiding important documents
Determining what is needed financially to leave the relationship
Hiding money or valuables
Changing account PINs and passwords
Developing a savings plan
Keeping track of important financial phone numbers
Establishing an alternate mailing address
Opening a new bank account
Monitoring credit reports for identity theft
Opening an emergency line of credit
Once a survivor is able to leave an abusive relationship, there are further opportunities for financial empowerment interventions, such as increasing overall financial literacy, money management skills, and financial resource access.
One of the best programs I’ve seen that addresses financial abuse for IPV survivors was developed in partnership between the National Network to End Domestic Violence and the Allstate Foundation, called the Financial Abuse Toolkit. Check it out if you’d like to learn more.
Final thoughts
Well, that’s about all I have space for today.
I hope that you learned something about IPV, economic abuse, and their connections to financial planning. Thanks to Keith (aka the best brother-in-law ever!) for allowing me to borrow this space to share about my research area.
Kimberly